I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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