I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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