I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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