Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
