He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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