Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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