I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
