I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
