I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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