I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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