Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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