Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
