didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
