K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
