dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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