I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
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We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
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There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive