Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God

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  (313): My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God http://tfl.nu/eo8x
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"

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  (215): i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk" http://tfl.nu/65e9
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.

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  (508): she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock. http://tfl.nu/5spj
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates

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  (978): If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates http://tfl.nu/qzzm
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.

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  (803): It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work. http://tfl.nu/kzvl
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.

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  (303): Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking. http://tfl.nu/3qfc
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?

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  (908): Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good? http://tfl.nu/2d9n
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  (360): View more from Washington

  We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.

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  (360): We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent. http://tfl.nu/utkw
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.

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  (503): Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight. http://tfl.nu/viha
  Replies (6) Good night (1026) Bad night (463)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...

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  (605): I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling. (307): I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name... http://tfl.nu/8rf6
  Replies (3) Good night (1667) Bad night (452)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?

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  (202): you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday? http://tfl.nu/psur
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  (850): View more from Florida

  My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.

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  (850): My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer. http://tfl.nu/izky
  Replies (10) Good night (508) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.

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  (760): The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here. http://tfl.nu/qr6c
  Replies (3) Good night (394) Bad night (753)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.

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  (425): I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me. http://tfl.nu/51kh
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.

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  (678): Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch. http://tfl.nu/ra61
  Replies (5) Good night (236) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt

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