so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
