Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey

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  (416): I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey http://tfl.nu/3mx1
  Replies (14) Good night (1306) Bad night (587)
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  (408): View more from California

  Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.

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  (408): Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job. http://tfl.nu/w1hi
  Replies (16) Good night (3984) Bad night (459)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.

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  (989): I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS. http://tfl.nu/9dm1
  Replies (27) Good night (8730) Bad night (985)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table

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  (208): I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table http://tfl.nu/g7sx
  Replies (15) Good night (3950) Bad night (1081)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.

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  (305): I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave. http://tfl.nu/m7xq
  Replies (16) Good night (11809) Bad night (949)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate

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  (217): he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate http://tfl.nu/55wo
  Replies (14) Good night (908) Bad night (2489)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.

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  (425): If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower. http://tfl.nu/0936
  Replies (11) Good night (3482) Bad night (1559)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.

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  (662): She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina. http://tfl.nu/uqet
  Replies (7) Good night (3984) Bad night (866)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.

  (231): View more from Michigan

  The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter

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  (231): I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck. (231): The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter http://tfl.nu/we4f
  Replies (10) Good night (584) Bad night (1782)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave

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  (608): not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave http://tfl.nu/ay74
  Replies (5) Good night (1819) Bad night (749)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  Is that weird?

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  (508): We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am? (913): Is that weird? http://tfl.nu/18nc
  Replies (4) Good night (1093) Bad night (468)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage

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  (608): and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage http://tfl.nu/5cg3
  Replies (0) Good night (373) Bad night (802)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"

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  (601): I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny" http://tfl.nu/qm08
  Replies (2) Good night (376) Bad night (259)
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  (707): View more from California

  I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job

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  (707): I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job http://tfl.nu/jtzh
  Replies (8) Good night (853) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.

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  (585): I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk. http://tfl.nu/g15a
  Replies (0) Good night (359) Bad night (223)

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