Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  my computer doesn't work...

  (619): View more from California

  why?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  i puked on it last night

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  (419): my computer doesn't work... (619): why? (419): i puked on it last night http://tfl.nu/kifb
  Replies (4) Good night (903) Bad night (2465)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I think I am morally bankrupt

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  (714): I think I am morally bankrupt http://tfl.nu/yusq
  Replies (29) Good night (2523) Bad night (750)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.

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  (703): I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup. http://tfl.nu/a2al
  Replies (13) Good night (693) Bad night (3407)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?

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  (404): So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat? http://tfl.nu/7wij
  Replies (12) Good night (5776) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize

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  (403): I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize http://tfl.nu/xooj
  Replies (17) Good night (4190) Bad night (1528)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.

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  (510): I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/v2uu
  Replies (5) Good night (1177) Bad night (2728)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday

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  (217): Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday http://tfl.nu/gng4
  Replies (5) Good night (1974) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Its gonna be a symphony of fucks

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  (870): Its gonna be a symphony of fucks http://tfl.nu/8ess
  Replies (7) Good night (1716) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.

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  (208): He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife. http://tfl.nu/5zhr
  Replies (8) Good night (660) Bad night (2276)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.

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  (818): I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job. http://tfl.nu/0hbs
  Replies (13) Good night (2605) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester

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  (831): She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester http://tfl.nu/csr6
  Replies (13) Good night (1656) Bad night (584)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..

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  (603): Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please.. http://tfl.nu/45sb
  Replies (4) Good night (600) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.

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  (563): You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar. http://tfl.nu/9hcy
  Replies (7) Good night (2187) Bad night (751)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM

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  (+44): IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM http://tfl.nu/pr8f
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.

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  (305): Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning. http://tfl.nu/6foo
  Replies (0) Good night (584) Bad night (275)

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