I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
send nudes
from the living room?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
