Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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