I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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