There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
