Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
nutella sex= disaster
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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