is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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