How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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