Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
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