I CAN MOONWALK!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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