Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
