smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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