All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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