found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
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I intend to get homeless drunk
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
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I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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