She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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