it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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