What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
