There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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