At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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