Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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