i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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