she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize