my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize