'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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