The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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