4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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