The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
