yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
So I just went to clothing optional bar
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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