When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
