The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Alive.
So much puke
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
