and you said cock pushups were impossible
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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