yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
