I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
