Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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