so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she told me i tasted like america
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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