Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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