Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
