question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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