If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
