Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I had to cum in my sink.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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