would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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