hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
