you guys were way drunker than both of me
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
