i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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