When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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