We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
