sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
