I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize